This is it. My redvolution. Excitement and nervousness bubble inside me, but I am oh so ready. This is my time to step fully into the Divine, arms high, voice loud, and passion oozing from my pores. She keeps showing herself to me on this journey of self-love, of self-empowerment, through the color of red. Here, within this color, I am met with everything I am; beauty, passion, wisdom, pain and Divinity. Feeling her love sweep through me, stirs myself awake. I can do this. I can and will allow myself to awaken to my life, to my joys and sorrows, and to embody wholeness.
Earlier this week I had a complete aha moment. Self-love is possible, even when you don't love yourself completely. It's one of those things that you know with your mind, but your heart hasn't felt the truth of it yet. It's life shattering for me. To understand completely with my entire being seems to allow my life to move more into clarity. Seeing every moment in a whole new light, my awareness spiking through the roof, makes me pause and just marvel in the moment. Wow...life doesn't have to be this certain way; the way it has always been done, and this feeling that I am so freaking powerful brings me to my knees.
This concept of self-love is finally hitting home. To feel the vastness of all the possibilities that lie in wait, still makes me pause with such gratitude. Knowing that every relationship I have, I am only responsible for my half. I can release the control, the disrespect, and the anger. I can see each moment moving in slow motion as it happens, and I am then able to respond from love instead of fear. Of course, there are still moments where I end up choosing to react from a place of fear. It's what I've always known; it's comfortable and safe. But if I choose to continue with what has always been, then nothing will ever change.
As I am able to sense my own energy and realize what is mine and what is not, my redvolution is showing me how to be okay with the messy parts of life. How to embrace the darkness, how to move through it and beyond it, but also how to be okay with it, too. There will be those darker times where it feels safe and comfortable to stay right where I am, and I do. You know those days where it seems nothing goes right, or where I end up losing my patience with my kids, or the times where I don't want to move; here is where She meets me; lovingly. And, sometimes, I won't know She's there, but she is. These are the moments to release self-judgement, and be okay with where I am...even when it's painful, lonely, and heavy. Without the storms, there is no release.
So, here I am on this Redvolution Soul Journey wondering what's next. I see glimpses of where She's guiding me, and relish in the moments where I ground myself in her love, in my love, and embrace all parts of myself.