This week I have been on a self-led retreat, making time for what my soul is hungry for before I begin leading a summer group. Even in this space of rest, freedom from kids and responsibilities, I am still fighting myself to actually do what I want to do. Here it is the last freaking day, and finally I collapse into myself, allowing my soul to be taken care of, to fall into a sea of limitless possibilities. Here is where I reside, this place of ecstasy and comfort, of sorrow and joy, all swaddling me as I release what's not meant to be so I can be more awake to this life, to this body, to this moment; releasing the past, releasing the future, releasing what might have been, or even what I thought I was longing to have or to become.
With release comes freedom, a sense of further expansion and openness, but also a sense of grief.
It's not easy to release those things in life you have been striving or longing for, only to realize those things might not be for your highest good -- even though they are good! This knowing, that even though your heart may long for something to occur or an idea to be birthed, it's not always where you need to be, or maybe at least not right now. Keeping it on the shelf, but not in your mental frame, so you can be more in THIS moment is far more fulfilling. Be here now. Right here. Amidst all the shit that comes your way, with all the joy, and the amazing moments of laughter that echo through your bones. Life is the moment between spaces; the space of joy, of sorrow, of disappointment, of anger, of stillness and chaos.
Life is when you spend time with your tribe; laughing and crying, lamenting, being so fucking angry at life's circumstances, all while staying true to who you are, loving and supporting each other.
Life is when you can't sleep and feel sick, so instead you meditate for connection and healing.
Life is when you see your past and future ghosts and allow them to move on.
Life is when you cry over the lost moments and opportunities, even though you know you will be okay; stronger and more courageous.
Life is the moment between spaces, and how we dance through those spaces determines our life. What does your dance look like? Claim what is yours and know YOU are the creator of it all. Make it how you want, live out loud, live fiercely and passionately, but most importantly, live.